


I'll Have To Say I Love You In A Song

by MnR



Category: Hawkeye (Comics), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst and Humor, Angst with a Happy Ending, Clint Barton Needs a Hug, F/M, Feelings Through Songs, Friends to Lovers, Kate Bishop Needs a Hug, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-20
Updated: 2016-05-20
Packaged: 2018-06-09 14:09:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6910399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MnR/pseuds/MnR
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After ensuring the safety of the kids from Project Communication, Team Hawkeye has gone their separate ways. Clint is not as okay with this as he pretends to be. After a drunk-song-text, Clint and Kate begin to share their feelings through songs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this story has been rattling around in my head for awhile, after a long drive home listening to the 70s, 80s, and 90's stations. Internet Cookies to whomever can guess all the song clips. 
> 
> P.S. The first chapter is short, they will get progressively longer as the story sets up.

Clint’s mind thought back to his last mission, his mission to make things right with Kate. To save those kids he’d given up on, save them and give them a chance at a good life. They’d been successful and the kids were as safe as they could ever be, on an island in the middle of the ocean with the best Stark Tech available guarding the island and they were happy. Barney had always wanted a gaggle of kids and now he had 5 of them. He thought back to his conversation with Kate, on the beach, she really was his best friend, and because he loved her, he knew he had to let her spread her wings and be Hawkeye on her own.

Now, that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt. It hurt more than he’d ever thought it would. That’s why he was sitting in the middle of his apartment, drinking a fifth of Hawkeye Vodka, and thumbing through his mp3 player. He hadn’t even heard from Kate in weeks, and he thought that’s what hurt the most. He hit random on his player and a song began to play and he listened as he took another swig out of his bottle. He grabbed his phone and hit record, recording the song clip and sent it to Kate.

*~~~~~*

Kate was in California again, sitting out in front of her trailer, gazing up at the stars when her phone beeped. She pulled it out and saw a text from Clint. She opened it up and saw it was a recording so she hit play.

_Don't, don't you want me?_  
_You know I can't believe it_  
 _When I hear that you won't see me._  
 _Don't, don't you want me?_  
 _You know I don't believe you_  
 _When you say that you don't need me._

“Really Clint? How drunk are you?” Kate asked out loud. “Hawkass,” she grumbled and scrolled to YouTube on her phone to find the song he’d sent her. She waited until it got to a particular part and hit record on her phone, deciding to give him a taste of his own medicine. She uploaded it into a text message and hit sent.

*~~~~~*

Clint jumped when his phone went off, a tell-tale sign of just how drunk he was. He looked at it and saw a text from Kate. “I knew that’d get her attention,” he said to himself and opened the message only to find it was a recording. “Huh…” he said and hit play.

_The five years we have had have been such good times,_  
_I still love you._  
 _But now I think it's time I live my life on my own._  
 _I guess it's just what I must do._

“Son of a bitch,” Clint grumbled and tossed his phone away. “If you still loved me, you’d talk to me,” he said to her as if she was there as Lucky came up to him and wiggled into his lap. “At least you still love me,” he said to his dog as he hugged him. Lucky whined and buried his nose into Clint’s neck. “Yeah I know, I miss her too,” he said with a sigh.


	2. Chapter 2

Clint walked along the street in Bed-Stuy, pizza in one hand, his mp3 player in the other, earbuds in as he headed home. Alone. He knew he could go to the Avengers if he wanted too, but Coulson had taught him a long time ago, leave the mission at the door. Yes they were his friends and yes he’d take a bullet for any of them in a heartbeat because he knew they’d do the same for him, but he had his own life. He has his own apartment, hell he had his own building. As he walked up the steps into his building a song came on and his mind was drawn away from Brooklyn, away from everything and to Kate. It’d been a few weeks since he’d sent her that drunk-song-text, and he regretted it, maybe. But he missed her. He walked into his apartment and set the pizza down and took off his mp3 player. He looked up the song on YouTube and recorded the first verse and then sent it to Kate. His mind was screaming at him that this was a bad idea, but of course it was a bad idea, he was Clint Barton, ALL his ideas were bad ideas. He uploaded the song to a text message and hit send.

*~~~~~*                                                                                                                   

Kate had just finished up an easy job and was relaxing in her trailer, picking at her salad. She’d told herself she was going to start eating healthier now that she was on her own, and that Clint had been a bad influence on her when it came to food since his diet consisted of pizza, beer, alcohol, and water. She finally pushed the salad away, “Dumbass,” she grumbled and pulled out her phone to call for a pizza when she saw she had a text message from Clint. “Oh god I hope he’s not drunk again,” she said as once more it was a song clip.

_I walk along the city streets, you used to walk along with me_  
_And every step I take reminds me of just how we used to be_  
 _Oh, how can I forget you, girl, when there is_  
 _Always something there to remind me_  
 _Always something there to remind me_

Kate sighed, “Dammit Clint. You know why I had to do this!” She exclaimed and began to scroll through YouTube, searching for a reply that would make Clint somehow understand why she was doing this. Inside she wondered if Clint really did miss her, or if he was just afraid of being alone, flying solo like he told her on the island. America kept telling her she was Clint’s crutch, and while she thought that might be true, she’d be lying if she said she didn’t miss him too. Sure she was doing well for herself, she was making a living, catching bad guys, and was becoming known as L.A.’s Hawkeye, but it wasn't the same as fighting by Clint's side. Finally she found something that spoke to her. She recorded the most meaningful part of the song and uploaded it as a reply to his text and hit sent. “I’m sorry Hawkeye,” she said softly and pulled her salad back to her and began to eat her salad, determined to finish it before she ordered a pizza.

*~~~~~*

Clint had dropped two pieces of pizza in Lucky’s bowl and took the rest of the box, along with a beer, out onto the fire escape to eat and people watch. He’d just finished his second slice when his phone beeped and he pulled it out, finding a reply from Kate. He saw again it was a song reply. He hit play and listened.

_I wanna be free,_  
_Like the warm September wind, babe_  
 _Say you'll always be my friend, babe_  
 _We can make it to the end, babe_  
 _Again, babe, I gotta say:_  
 _I wanna be free_  
 _I wanna be free_  
 _I wanna be free_

Clint closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the cool brick of his apartment building. “I wanna be free,” he sang softly to himself. He had to let her go. He HAD let her go. They always said if you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it’s yours forever, but if it doesn’t, it was never yours to begin with. That’s what he had to do. He just hoped she came back to him, because he needed her. The longer she was gone, the more he realized just how much he needed her. She wasn’t just his best friend, she was his everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is a little more feels at the beginning, but I promised angst and humor. I will deliver. :)


	3. Chapter 3

Clint heard his phone going off at an ungodly hour and knew it could only be one person, and mean one thing. He groped around on his nightstand for his phone and answered it, “Hunghlo?”

“Be on the roof in 15 minutes, we’ve got a mission,” Natasha said briskly, as if she’d been awake for hours instead of only 45 minutes for a quick team briefing about the mission they were to undertake.

“Natsha” Clint whined into the phone. “Unhugoly ororo! Neesh chuffe,” he groaned rubbing his eyes with his free hand.

“I know it’s an ungodly hour to YOU, and yes, I promise I will have coffee for you on the jet. Now get your ass outta bed and onto the roof, extraction in 14 minutes now,” Natasha said and hung up.

Clint hauled his ass out of bed and put on his uniform, grabbing his bow and quiver before heading for the roof. He was leaning against the building and was just about to nod off when the stealth mode faded from the Quinjet and a ladder was lowered down for him. He yawned hugely and crawled up into the jet to see Tony at the helm, and Steve, and Bruce strapped into their seats and Natasha sitting next to an open seat, an extra-large travel mug of coffee in her hands.

Clint made a beeline for her, making grabbing hands until she handed him off the mug and he drank deeply from it, before pulling back. “Ow… hot… hot… hot…”

“It’s fresh,” Natasha said rolling her eyes.

“Bless you my child,” Clint groaned falling into the seat next to her, sipping the coffee again, not caring about the tingly feeling his mouth from drinking hot coffee too fast. “Where we going?” he asked between sips.

“A.I.M. is trying to rise from the ashes by taking over former Hydra bases,” Steve said to him. “We’re getting the jump on them before they can get fully functional.”

Clint sighed, “I take it they’re reforming the ‘We Hate Tony Stark’ Fanclub?”

“T-shirts and everything Barton,” Tony replied as they flew over the ocean.

“I know why we’re going, but where are we going?” Clint asked curiously.

“Siberia,” Natasha said with a sigh.

“Just once, I’d like a villain to make their base somewhere warm! Fucking Siberia, fucking Russia, fucking Artic Circle. What is wrong with Fiji? Fiji is nice and warm!” Clint said with a groan.

“We’ll be sure to ask them to relocate next time for you Barton,” Tony said sarcastically.

“Gonna ask them for a T-shirt,” Clint grumbled and pulled his phone out and began to text. He hadn’t actually texted Kate since they started this song back and forth thing, but his sleep addled brain thought it was a good idea.

“Who are you texting?” Natasha asked him curiously.

“Katie-Kate,” Clint said with a yawn.

“She’s going to kill you, you know that right? It’s what, 3:30 in California?” Natasha asked him with a raised eyebrow. She knew things between Clint and Kate weren’t the same since Kate struck out on her own.

“She’s gotta come home to kill me,” Clint replied with a smirk.

“So that’s your plan? Piss her off until she’s mad enough to come back and kill you?” Natasha asked rolling her eyes. “Master Tactician you are Clint Barton.”

Clint could hear her eyeroll but he ignored her and flipped through the songs on his phone and put his earbuds in. He scrolled until he found the one he was looking for and recorded a clip and then sent it to Kate.

*~~~~~*

Kate had nearly fallen back asleep when her phone pinged again with a new text message and she cursed the day she ever met Clinton Francis Barton as she grabbed her phone and saw it was a song clip. “I’m going to kill him.” She said as she hit play.

_As I lay me down to sleep_  
_This I pray_  
_That you will hold me dear_  
_Though I'm far away_  
_I'll whisper your name into the sky_  
_And I will wake up happy_

Kate played the song again and bit her lip. Did he really do that? Think of her as he went to bed? Think of her when he woke up? God it was way too early to deal with this. She scrolled through the songs on her phone. What could she sent back to him? What was she feeling right now, besides homicidal anger at being woken up at ass o’clock in the morning by one Clinton Fucking Barton. Right, she was going to focus on that. She found the song she wanted and recorded the clip and sent it back to him.

*~~~~~*

Clint smiled when his phone pinged in his earbuds and he opened the messaging screen to find a song clip ready for him.

_Every time we lie awake_  
_After every hit we take_  
_Every feeling that I get_  
_But I haven't missed you yet_

_Only when I stop to think about it_

_I hate everything about you_  
_Why do I love you_  
_I hate everything about you_  
_Why do I love you_

Ooh, she was pissed at him. He knew she would be but, it didn’t escape his notice of her song choice. “Ha, she doesn’t miss me my ass,” he said to himself. Besides, she chose a song that practically said she loved him. Yeah, it said she hated him too, but he woke her up and she was a lot like Natasha when she was woken up, violent and stabby, though her weapon of choice was an arrow rather than a knife.

“Barton!” Steve called to him, snapping his attention away from his phone.

“Cap?” Clint asked in return pulling his earbuds out. He saw the holo-table lit up. “Ooh beat up the bad guys strategy time,” he said downing the rest of his coffee.

“Yes, care to join us?” Steve said with the sigh of the long suffering.

“Yeah,” Clint said putting his phone away as he made his way over to the table for the mission strategy session. He’d think about Kate later, right now it was time to pew-pew the bad guys.


End file.
